It’s a sickening space. It gives me the shivers. A cringing ecstasy. The quiet hum of the building; The cold white lights.
He walks past me from where she is sitting to throw away the chinese take-out they were eating. She floats along untouched in life, diligent and blissfully oblivious to it’s potential roughness. The innocence of a small child never to be marred. At least not for a good many years still.
I feel it is a victory that we held eachother so close, for a time, yet let go nearly unscathed. She hops around flirtatiously in front of her current puppy-love character holding his hand. Lucky girl. She glances across this open space at me.
I have my hat pulled low over my face, trying, trying to study; Be inconspicuous so we can both keep going past each other, as if we never met in this life.
I look back up and she is gone. To her life has no gradation. All of it and everything it contains is either good or bad. Never both.
And to her I am bad…
Or maybe I am the one exception; The enigma in her mind which she couldn’t place…
Not a chance.
Maybe I should have tried harder. No, maybe I should not have given up so easily. Maybe I should have been more patient.
That kiss was just so empty.